A 35-year-old virgin admits men ghost her when she says she wants to stay a virgin till marriage. Sonali Chandra, an Indian-American dancer, model, and comedian from New Jersey, believes sleeping together is a’sacred and special’ act.
Sonali Chandra has been featured on both “The Dr. Phil Show” and “5 Guys a Week” on the Lifetime Network (Fall 2022). Before relocating to Los Angeles, Chandra worked in the corporate finance and real estate sectors in New York City, where she earned her finance degree from Rutgers Business School in New Jersey. She is putting her life experiences to good use by working on a studio feature film, an unscripted documentary, a comedy special, and a memoir, all of which she thinks will inspire and entertain audiences.
Most stand-up comedians do use profanity, which first put me off because I don’t swear in regular conversation or writing unless absolutely necessary. The professors at Flappers University reassured me that it is fine to be a clean comedian, and that if I tried to use profanity, my performances would come across as forced.
Sonali Chandra
A 35-year-old singleton said she’s constantly ghosted by men when she reveals she’s a virgin and wants to wait until marriage to have sex. Sonali Chandra further added: dating is difficult because of her strict views about intimacy and her lack of experience in the bedroom.
“I have only dated nine men – including three serious relationships – and all nine men were jerks when they found out about my virginity,” she told the Daily Star in an interview.
Chandra believes that the fact that she was brought up in a traditional household by her parents who were born in India has had a “deep impact” on her ability to find romantic partners. She remarked, “I was not permitted to interact and dating was a big no-no.”
Dating is a life skill, but when I was a teenager and in college, it was off limits for me to work on improving that skill. Now fast forward to the present day, when I am 35 years old, and I still have no idea how to date!
She believes that sleeping together is a “holy and precious” act, thus she will not participate until she gets a ring on her finger.
I had the distinct pleasure of interviewing “Sonali Chandra — A Woman Who Inspires Millions” — Going further, doing more, breaking through barriers and giving people courage. She has challenged, shaped and smashed the status quo and is unstoppable with her power and influence growing. Here’s DKODING “Sonali Chandra” who will leave you feeling inspired, confident and ready to make the most of your life:
1/12
How have you handled the pressure of marriage from your family for so many years?
BEFORE I enrolled in mental health therapy, I would walk out of the room whenever an argument happened on the dreaded topic. AFTER I enrolled in mental health therapy (at age 28), I have learned to emotionally detach. Now, at age 35, I (respectfully) don’t care about what my conservative Indian parents think (since I am a modern American-born woman)
2/12
What advice would you give to other women who feel peer pressure by society?
You do you. Stay away from toxic and negative people, including your family/friends who exhibit such behavior.
3/12
What was it like living with 5 guys for a week?
I had to calm my nerves (& lower my inhibitions) with the help of A LOT of “liquid courage” – that’s the only I was able to do the bold things that I did on-camera.What I admire about “5 Guys a Week” is how the woman chooses who she will be in a relationship with. I proudly broke my family tradition with this TV show, because no woman in my lineage had the privilege to choose anything – let alone their husband.
4/12
Would you ever go on another dating show?
Since conventional dating methods haven’t worked for me (men get scared off when they learn I still have my V-Card), and I absolutely DO NOT want an Arranged Marriage by my parents (ew!), I would go another dating show (in abidance with the legal contract I signed for “5 Guys a Week”), in hopes the filming experience is longer, so that I get to know my suitors on a deeper level.
“Renée Ash” — Transforming Millions of Lives By Using The Influence of Her Own Personal Story
5/12
Do you think people can truly find love on a television show?
Affirmative. Look at Joelle Fletcher/Jordan Rodgers (The Bachelorette), Trista Rehn/Ryan Sutter (The Bachelorette), and Catherine Giudici/Sean Lowe (The Bachelor). I applied to find LOVE on The Bachelor three times, but no luck.
6/12
What are you looking for in a lifelong partner?
I am looking for a chivalrous gentleman who is moral/ethical, handsome, ambitious, health-oriented, and will treat me like a Queen. I want what Priyanka Chopra has with Nick Jonas.
7/12
What made you choose Eric, and would you do anything differently knowing what you know now?
I chose Eric because we had the most in common, and the best chemistry/attraction. His height and handsomeness helped as well. Had I known that his on-camera behavior was all an act, I would have eliminated him the 1st night.
8/12
Would you want to reconnect with any of the other men from your episode?
Negative, as per the following:
- Dave believes marriage is only beneficial for tax purposes. I believe marriage is for love and building a life together.
- Michael and I had no chemistry, nor did we share any common interests.
- Corey and I had no chemistry, nor did we share any common interests.
- Kenny believes “sex and love are two different concepts”. I, on the other hand, believe “Sex = Making Love.” In fact, Kenny had sex the week prior to filming – which I was disgusted with, given I was/am a Virgin. I had gotten my teeth whitened & a mani/pedi in the days before filming began!
9/12
What has your dating experience been like BEFORE versus AFTER being on “5 Guys a Week”?
BEFORE & AFTER
I don’t date (actively) — I was forbidden from developing this skill as a teenager, and as an adult, I have always been terrified that I’ll meet a predator if I meet with a stranger.
Instead, I spend every weeknight exercising (so I don’t feel lonely), and I spend Saturday & Sunday nights alone in my studio apartment (which is very depressing – I go to sleep by 8 PM to numb my emotional pain).
I prefer to meet men serendipitously. When a man asks me out, it’s because he likes what he sees (my physical appearance). But when he finds out more about me (how I am a Virgin and I won’t participate in pre-marital sex), he is shocked & vanishes.
I have only “dated” 9 men (including 3 serious relationships) – and all 9 men were jerks when they found out about my Virginity.
SPECIAL CIRCUMSTANCE
Since I have become a public figure, boatloads of men have contacted me. They all have professed their love for me and want to marry me – without ever having met me! I am scared to respond to any of them because of the concept “Stranger Danger”.
I did reply to just one man — because he wrote me a sweet/kind message, and we were 2-degrees apart on Facebook (sharing 11 mutual friends) within the South Asian community (he is of Indian descent). We started off chatting on Facebook, then exchanging phone numbers to continue texting. Then we finally video-chatted. Since we live in different cities, we didn’t meet in-person until one of us was in the same city as the other.
This man is handsome, ambitious, and a bit older than me – I am so surprised he is still single! He has an incredibly calm/gentle demeanor — which balances my vivacious personality. I enjoy conversing with him (we have a lot in common) & I feel a sense of peace overcome me when I chat with him. He is funny and made me laugh so much. I feel like I have known him for eternity, and I felt safe/comfortable around him. He was slightly flirtatious but was completely respectful of my boundaries (given I’m a Virgin). He didn’t even try to kiss me. Since our meeting (some would call it a “date”), I have not been able to stop thinking about him. However, I have NO CLUE what he thinks of me, or when I’ll meet him again – which is heart-wrenching. I do believe that “Friendship is the foundation of any relationship”, and that time will tell what happens between us. I know for a fact that my parents would love him.
SPECIAL NOTE
Audiences have called me a fraud, claiming I have lied about being a Virgin in order to get on TV. They have also questioned my sexuality, given I am 35 & still have my V-Card.
I would like to set the record straight with the following statements:
- I would never lie to ANYONE, as I have no desire to tarnish my reputation, or create another lie to cover a previous lie.
- I am as straight as an arrow – when I see a handsome man, electricity runs through me.
I am being vocal my Virginity because society rejects individuals who practice abstinence. I know that for a fact, because for 10+ years, I have not been invited to any holiday parties, have had any “friends” celebrate my birthday, and nor does anybody show up when I host parties/gatherings. The “L” in Sonali stands for lonely, and since I feel like this, there must be others who share the same sentiment.
I am here to tell them “You are NOT alone.” There’s absolutely nothing wrong with adhering to one’s beliefs. No one should succumb to societal pressure to have sex, or to deal with arranged marriage pressure from parents.
As Oprah has said:
“Speaking Your Truth Is the Most Powerful Tool We All Have.” And being a “Millennial VIRGIN Lady” is MY truth.
10/12
If you could be a part of one movie, what movie would it be and why?
MY feature film (currently in-development) — which is based on MY life.
11/12
Do you have a 5-year plan? If so, where do you hope you are professional and romantically 5 years from now?
Personally/Romantically, I hope to be with my one-and-only. If kids are in our future, it would have to be via surrogacy/adoption.
I am NOT desperate for a husband. However, I would like loyal companionship (I am tired of being lonely – to the point of tears). The above being said, I do need a “ring” before my “1st time”. A one-night stand, pre-marital sex, or divorce would devastate me.
Professionally, I am leveraging my life experiences by developing various creative projects (studio feature film, comedy special, & memoir — ALL entitled “The Sexy Virgin”), so I can inspire and entertain audiences. I also want to continue working at Equinox Fitness Club.
12/12
Where can we follow along on your journey?
I am omnipresent!
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